The Power of a Friend

Yesterday was a particulary difficult day with schooling and I was not happy. I called my good friend, Barbara, to kvetch a little (that's "vent" and "complain" for those not familiar with yiddish) and asked if she could meet me for tea on Sunday at my favorite tea room. She was busy that day and after many suggestions that didn't work we decided to meet with our kids at the park in a few hours. Upon arrival, she offers me two choices of gourmet chocolate that she just got for her anneversary. Is that a friend or what?

We talked about lots of things, of course, and later, at her house, after only about an hour of further conversation, she got me to change the lyrics to one of my songs, change my plans for the next gig weekend and critique my "music button pushing" at concerts as "unbecoming" or "unprofessional" or however she put it.

Neither one of us realized that this all took place in such a lump, but in hindsight, it's really pretty funny. Only the best of friends can speak to you so frankly and make you not even realize you've been "corrected". That's why I love her.

She was right about the lyrics, of course. They've been bothering me for some time and when I shared them, it was just to share, not to get advice. But she tripped on the same thing I was and so I had to change them. It's just getting used to them that's hard. I have a local gig next week, but she doesn't think I need to prepare in my usual way - she wants me to squeeze in a spiritual retreat, and blow off doing my hair. She wouldn't accept any of my excuses or reasonings. (Who DOES that?!? A mother sometimes?) It's been on my calendar for some time, but I didn't seriously even consider it. I'm glad she twisted my arm. I'll just do my hair on Fri., I guess. Lastly, she doesn't think it looks good that I press the play and pause button on my minidisc player at concerts. Someone else should do it for me. I used to do that, but I don't feel like there is, or like to have, any pretense between me and the audience. But it's also so much easier just to do it myself. I'm a control freak and I WANT TO CONTROL THE BUTTONS! Ha, she didn't win on that one.

Love ya, Barb. Don't change a bit.